Many children struggle with emotional dysregulation due to trauma histories, sensory processing challenges and/or developmental delays which can lead to tantrums and meltdowns.
There are several ways we can support emotional regulation in our children which will lead to decreased tantrums and happier children. This checklist is your first step on the path to understanding how to support your child’s regulation.
ROUTINES: Set a consistent, predictable routine for each day. Provide the child with a visual of the day i.e., a document with pictures or a verbal reminder of the day.
PREVENT HUNGER/DEHYDRATION: Provide your child with a snack, drink, physical activity, and connecting activity EVERY TWO HOURS. Connecting activity can be 5 minutes of individual time, a bear hug, etc.
RECOGNIZE TRIGGERS: Keep a journal for a week to record your child’s meltdowns in detail. Where were you, what happened before and after, what helped your child calm afterward, etc.?
SENSORY AWARENESS: Recognize your child’s sensory integration sensitivities. For example, does your child become over-stimulated after too many activities? Does your child become dysregulated in public places due to the high level of sensory input i.e., sounds, lights, scents, etc.?
ATTACHMENT: Provide your child with attachment rituals consistently. For example, provide your child with an item of yours to keep with them while they are away from you such as a small picture. Create a “love handshake” or song that the two of you do together upon hellos and goodbyes.
TRANSITIONS: Provide your child with 2-3 minutes of one-on-one time before transitions. Provide them with verbal reminders, “we will be leaving in 5 minutes.” A transition object chosen by the child such as a soft teddy bear or soft piece of fabric can also be helpful.
PLAY!: Provide your child with plenty of play experiences. Children learn through play and love to learn together through play with their caregivers! Play also increases trust and attachment.
HONOR CHALLENGE AREAS: If your child has meltdowns around food and drink, honor this need and let the child help choose food and prepare meals. Keep food such as fruit or vegetables available to your child at all times so that her brain can begin to register safety, decreasing the survival mechanism of food hoarding.
IGNORE MINOR MISBEHAVIOR: Pick your battles and respond in kind to the misbehavior. Minor misbehavior = minor consequence. (NOT minor misbehavior = major consequence.)
BALANCE: Balance structure and nurture equally. If structure is increased due to the child’s misbehavior, add in more nurture as well.
Reference:
Derived or reproduced from Trust-Based Relational Intervention® resources (Purvis & Cross, 1999-2012).
Parenting, Sensory Processing